


supposedly yours

by imsodead



Series: Oisuga Week 2017 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Romance, Gen, Humor, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Textfic, Texting, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9237440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsodead/pseuds/imsodead
Summary: [2:36] Me:jokes on u[2:37] Me:were dating now(Late Submission for Oisuga Week Day 2: Wrong Number AU)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo!!! this is just a v v late entry for oisuga week day 2 with the prompt family/wrong number au; for now, i'm centering on the latter but family-themed chaps will come soon (bc this will def be a multi-chap fic; i have gotten v v attached to this piece of shit in the few hours i've tried to write this; but do note this is some 1 am - 3 am bullshit i've spewed so expect trash) oh and this is from oikawa's pov!!!!

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru**

**Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Wednesday, 1:28 AM_ **

 

 **[1:28] Me:** iwa-chan!!!!

 **[1:30] Bug Boy:** some people are trying to sleep here

 **[1:30] Me:** but im booooored

 **[1:30] Me:** entertain me

 **[1:31] Me:** iwa-chaaaaaaaaan

 **[1:31] Me:** iwaizumi

 **[1:32] Me:** hajime

 **[1:32] Me:** iwaizumi hajime

 **[1:32] Me:** iwaaaaaaaaaa

 **[1:33] Me:** dont ignore me

 **[1:33] Me:** iwa-chaaaaaaaaan

 **[1:34] Me:** stop ignoring me

 **[1:34] Me:** hey

 **[1:35] Me:** iwa-chan!!!!

 

 **[1:38] Bug Boy:** go to sleep, shittykawa

 **[1:38] Me:** mean, iwa-chan!!!

 

\---

  

**_Wednesday, 1:46 AM_ **

 

 **[1:46] Unknown Number:** hey

 **[1:46] Unknown Number:** so,,,uh…

 **[1:47] Unknown Number:** i know it’s late, but…

 **[1:48] Unknown Number:** i have something to tell you

 

 **[1:52] Unknown Number:** you awake?

 

 **[2:00] Unknown Number:** oh wait, you probably aren’t

 **[2:02] Unknown Number:** what reasonable person is still awake at this time, right?

 **[2:03] Me:** apparently not u

 **[2:03] Unknown Number:** …oh, so you’re still awake

 **[2:03] Unknown Number:** did i wake you up

 **[2:04] Unknown Number:** sorry

 **[2:04] Me:** what do u want

 **[2:05] Unknown Number:** you see, uh…

 **[2:05] Unknown Number:** ….

 

 **[2:10] Me:** get to the point already

 **[2:11] Unknown Number:** sorry, sorry

 **[2:13] Unknown Number:** uh i think i like you?

 

 **[2:15] Me:** of course u do

 **[2:15] Me:** everyone does

 

 **[2:19] Unknown Number:** i didn’t mean it that way

 **[2:19] Unknown Number:** i mean _like like_

 **[2:21] Me:** what

 **[2:21] Me:** do u even know me

 **[2:24] Unknown Number:** what

 **[2:24] Unknown Number:** of course i do

 **[2:24] Me:** no u dont

 **[2:25] Me:** i dont think so

 **[2:25] Unknown Number:** daichi we’ve been friends since middle school

 **[2:25] Unknown Number:** of course i know you

 **[2:26] Me:** thats great, except im not daichi

 

 **[2:33] Unknown Number:** wait

 **[2:33] Unknown Number:** what

 **[2:34] Unknown Number:** OH GOD NO

 **[2:34] Unknown Number:** PLEASE FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED]

 **[2:35] Me:** what if i dont want to

 **[2:36] Unknown Number:** please no

 **[2:36] Me:** jokes on u

 **[2:37] Me:** were dating now

 **[2:37] Me:** too bad for that daichi person

 

 **[2:48] Me:** hey

 **[2:48] Me:** u still there

 **[2:50] Me:** ….

 **[2:52] Me:** did i break u?

 **[2:54] Me:** please no

 **[2:54] Me:** i dont want to break my new bf like this

 

 

 **[3:07] Me:** wait

 **[3:07] Me:** you _are_ a boy

 **[3:07] Me:** right?

 

 **[4:00] Unknown Number:** i can’t believe you just assumed my gender

 

 **[4:30] Unknown Number:** but yes, I’m a boy

 **[4:31] Me:** thank god

 **[4:31] Me:** otherwise that wouldve been awkward

 **[4:31] Me:** and just so u know

 **[4:32] Me:** im a boy too

 **[4:32] Unknown Number:** great

 **[4:33] Unknown Number:** now go to sleep

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

**_Wednesday, 10:32 AM_**

 

 **[10:32] Me:** now that i think about it…

 **[10:32] Me:** i never caught your name

 **[10:32] Me:** i cant not know my bfs name, right?

 

 **[11:00] Unknown Number:** i'm not your boyfriend

 **[11:04] Me:** the confession above says otherwise

 **[11:05] Unknown Number:** please forget about it

 **[11:05] Me:** what if i dont want to

 **[11:06] Unknown Number:** you don’t even know me

 **[11:06] Me:** i will soon

 **[11:06] Unknown Number:** how

 **[11:07] Me:** i have connections

 **[11:07] Me:** (◕‿◕✿)

 **[11:09] Unknown Number:** please just forget about everything that’s happened

 **[11:10] Me:** no

 **[11:10] Me:** im setting ur name as babe

 **[11:10] Me:** u cant stop me

 **[11:11] Me:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **[11:11] BABE:** ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

**_Wednesday, 1:22 PM_ **

 

 **[1:22] Me:** hey

 **[1:22] Me:** babe

 **[1:23] Me:** answer me

 

 **[2:32] Me:** babe?

 **[2:32] Me:** hey

 **[2:33] Me:** yahooo~

 **[2:33] Me:** anyone home

 **[2:33] Me:** hey

 **[2:33] Me:** dont ignore me

 

 

 **[4:00] BABE:** i was at class, you fuckwit

 **[4:08] Me:** u wound me

 **[4:10] BABE:** what do you even want

 **[4:11] Me:** u ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **[4:11] BABE:** shut

 **[4:11] Me:** anyway

 **[4:12] Me:** i was just curious

 **[4:12] Me:** does this daichi dude

 **[4:12] Me:** possibly have

 **[4:13] Me:** the family name

 **[4:14] Me:** Sawamura?

 

 **[4:32] Me:** bingo!

 **[4:32] Me:** im right

 **[4:32] Me:** arent i

 

 **[5:01] Me:** hellooooo

 **[5:01] Me:** dont ignore me

 **[5:01] Me:** baaaaabeee

 **[5:02] Me:** answer me

 

 **[5:32] Me:** were u kidnapped

 **[5:32] Me:** did i break u

 **[5:33] Me:** did my astounding brilliance shock u

 

 **[6:24] Me:** yahoooooo

 **[6:24] Me:** stop ignoring me

 

 **[7:00] Me:** babe?

 **[7:00] Me:** honey?

 **[7:00] Me:** dear?

 **[7:00] Me:** sweetie?

 

 **[7:28] Me:** candied cardiovascular pump?

 

 **[7:54] Me:** helloooo?

 

 **[8:09] Me:** answer me

 

 **[8:31] Me:** stop ignoring me

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

**_Wednesday, 10:13 PM_ **

 

 **[10:13] Me:** im breaking up w u

 

 **[10:31] BABE:** oh thank god

 **[10:36] Me:** just kidding!

 **[10:38] BABE:** damn it

 **[10:38] Me:** rude!!!

 

 **[10:43] Me:** anyway

 **[10:43] Me:** u still havent answered me

 **[10:43] Me:** was it sawamura daichi

 **[10:46] BABE:** sawamura who?

 **[10:46] BABE:** i don’t know any sawamura

 **[10:47] Me:** i can smell ur lies

 **[10:47] BABE:** no you can’t  


**[10:47] BABE:** how is that even possible

 **[10:48] Me:** i just can (˚▽˚)

 **[10:48] BABE:** leave me alone

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

**_Wednesday, 11:34 PM_**

 

 **[11:34] Me:** i just realized smth  


**[11:34] Me:** u didnt deny it  


**[11:35] BABE:** s h u t

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

**_Thursday, 1:32 AM_ **

 

 **[1:32] Me:** so…  


**[1:33] Me:** sawamura, huh  


**[1:33] Me:** i can see why tho  


**[1:33] Me:** his thighs are to die for

 

 **[2:21] BABE:** s h u t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wanted to participate in oisgua week but okay im lazy af and am usually uninspired (holy hell i actually got stable enough internet connection to be able to post this while at our dorms) and im v v sorry i suck at writing humor but i tried my best???


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya and Tanaka just wanted to be supportive friends but Suga is so done with their shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …i wasn’t really expecting anyone to actually read this wtf, but thank you!!! so here’s just a filler chap to give a brief background on certain things on suga’s end (this won’t be pure text, okay; i'll be putting up some dialogues and narrations and shit later or idk i have no concrete plan for this, tbh)

** Contact Name: Sugawara Koushi **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Tuesday, 9:30 PM_ **

 

**[9:30] problem child #1:** SUGA-SAN!!!!

**[9:30] problem child #1:** SFKEFGLSKDASLDKA;CK

**[9:30] problem child #1:** DGLKERFKLSCKADLWFLEWKF

**[9:30] problem child #1:** U BETTER REMEMBER THE DEAL!!!!

 

**[9:45] problem child #1:** SUGA-SAN!!!

**[9:45] problem child #1:** THE DEAL!!!

**[9:45] problem child #1:** THE DEAL!!!

**[9;45] problem child #1:** THE DEAL!!!

 

**[9:52] problem child #1:** DON’T FORGET IT!!!

**[9:52] problem child #1:** THE DEAL, I MEAN

**[9:54] problem child #1:** REMEMBER THE DEAL

**[9:54] problem child #1:** OK????!!!!

 

**[10:02] Me:** christ noya, calm down

**[10:02] Me:** of course i remember it

**[10:02] Me:** how could I not

**[10:02] Me:**   you’ve been talking about it _nonstop_

**[10:03] Me:** for the past two weeks

**[10:04] problem child #1:** JUST REMINDING U IN CASE U FORGET!!!

 

**[11:02] problem child #2:** SUGA-SAAAAAAAN!!!

**[11:02] problem child #2:** U BETTER REMEMBER THE DEAL!!!

 

**[11:07] problem child #1:** THE DEAL

**[11:07] problem child #1:** NEVER FORGET

**[11:09] problem child #2:** THE DEAL!!!!

**[11:09] problem child #2:** DEAL!!!!

 

**[11:21] problem child #3:** SUGA-SAAAAAAAN

**[11;24] Me:** yes, Hinata?

**[11:26] problem child #3:** NOYA-SAN ASDKED ME TO TEL U HTIS

**[11:26] problem child #3:** “DON’T FORGET THE DEAL”

**[11:26] problem child #3:** OR SEOFMTHING

**[11:27] problem child #3:** WAHTS THGT ABT

**[11:27] Me:** …

**[11:27] Me:** please just ignore that

**[11:27]** **problem child #3:** OAKYTR!!!!

**_Wednesday, 12:48 AM_ **

 

**[12:48] problem child #2:** THE DEAL!!!

**[12:48] problem child #2:** REMEMBER IT

**[12:48] problem child #2:** DONT FORGET THE DEAL!!!

**[12:48] problem child #2:** IT IS A DEAL

**[12:48] problem child #2:** U MUST NOT FORGET

**[12:49] problem child #2:** THE DEAL, OKAY???!!!

**[12:49] problem child #2:** THE DETRHOGDFLVCXDKWOAAAKSDOA

**[12:50] problem child #2:** GERTHTASCDSLFGBFSAS

**[12:51] Me:** tanaka?

**[12:52] problem child #2:** I apologize for this idiot, Suga-san

**[12:52] Me:** oh, Ennoshita!

**[12:52] problem child #2:** I’ll make sure he won’t bother you anymore

**[12:53] Me:** ah, thanks Ennoshita!

**[12:53] problem child #2:** Good night, Suga-san.

**[12:54] Me:** night, Ennoshita!

**[12:54] problem child #2:** Oh, and Suga-san?

**[12:55] Me:** yes?

**[12:56] problem child #2:** Don’t forget about the deal.

**[12:57] Me:** NOT YOU TOO

 

**_Wednesday, 1:10 AM_ **

**[1:10] Me:** goddamn it tanaka

**_Wednesday, 1:21 AM_ **

 

**[1:21]jesus:** remember the deal, suga

 

**[1:25] Me:** ASAHI I TRUSTED YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it's very short, i have the next chap ready already but i plan to start on another one before i put it up (and i just had to post this early while i still can even tho im not supposed to be on bc you know, shit ton of school work already) hope you liked it or something; more background story to come in idk when


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **[3:22] BABE:** n o  
>  **[3:22] BABE:** it’s too early for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the kudos, comments, and even bookmarks (wtf???!!!) they really inspire me to write faster tbh, and i probably shouldn’t have checked on my fics just yet bc wow okay people actually like this piece of shit and now that just inspires me to write more ~~and i am now ignoring my studies and writing updates help me~~  
>  [the bit about cow udders is courtesy of my classmate (who asked that out of the blue during class) and the bit about the trees is based on a conversation between my friend and i]

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Friday, 2:36 AM_ **

 

 **[2:36] Me:** what if we had a cow udder

 **[2:36] Me:** instead of breasts

 **[2:36] Me:** w the nipples

 **[2:36] Me:** and all

 

 **[2:44] BABE:** wtf

 **[2:44] BABE:** it’s 3am

 **[2:44] BABE:** it’s too early for this

 

 **[2:50] Me:** its not yet 3

 **[2:50] Me:** its never too early for this

 **[2:52] BABE:** shush

 

 **[3:12] Me:** what if u can grow trees in ur fingers

 **[3:12] Me:** like u get remains of a seed stuck in ur nails

 **[3:12] Me:** and u accidentally let them grow

 **[3:12] Me:** bc u know, u wash ur hands and expose them to sun and u have dirt in ur nails

 **[3:13] Me:** and then they grow

 **[3:13] Me:** and poof! there are trees in your fingers!!!

 

 **[3:16] BABE:** h o w

 

 **[3:20] Me:** science (˚▽˚)

 **[3:21] BABE:** is that even possible

 **[3:21] Me:** its s c i e n c e

 **[3:21] BABE:** no

 **[3:21] BABE:** nnno

 **[3:22] BABE:** n o

 **[3:22] BABE:** it’s too early for this

 **[3:22] BABE:** go to sleep

 **[3:23] Me:** no

 

**_Friday, 3:54 AM_ **

 

 **[3:54] Me:** but consider this

 **[3:54] Me:** what if

 **[3:54] BABE:** no

 **[3:54] M** e: but i haven’t even said anything yet???

 **[3:55] BABE:** no

 **[3:55] BABE:** just no

 **[3:55] BABE:** it’s too early

 **[3:55] BABE:** go to sleep

 **[3:56] Me:** no

 **[3:56] BABE:** go to s l e e p

 **[3:57] Me:** what are u, my mom

 **[3:57] BABE:** for fuck’s sake

 **[3:57] BABE:** it’s too early for this

 **[3:57] BABE:** go the fuck to sleep

 **[3:58] BABE:** don’t you have class tomorrow

 **[3:58] Me:** i do

 **[3:58] BABE:** why are you awake

 **[3:59] Me:** sleep is for the w e a k

 **[3:59] BABE:** fuck you

 **[3:59] BABE:** how do you even function

 **[4:00] Me:** my blood is made of caffeine

 **[4:00] BABE:** no

 **[4:00] BABE:** just no

 **[4:01] Me:** why are _you_ awake

 **[4:01] BABE:** no

 **[4:01] BABE:** it’s too early

 **[4:02] BABE:** i can’t deal with this

 **[4:02] BABE:** b y e

 **[4:03] Me:** wtf

 **[4:03] Me:** ????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im pretty sure my friend reacts just like suga whenever i ask questions out of the blue (and i end up keeping her awake ‘til like 4 am or so bc why not); anyway, i'm going to focus on some interaction between them plus maybe some background on their everyday lives, idk i'll just go with whatever i think of first; they won’t meet just yet, but i've already planned it out, can’t wait for that chap!!! (idk when that’ll happen tho, i really am making this all up as i go so i apologize)  
> feel free to leave suggestions!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
> **[9:28] Me:** i sigenfd up fosger a boyffvdriend  
>  **[9:28] Me:** nodft a thdfvird motfdghher  
>  **[9:30] BABE:** shush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote like half of this during class ~~(even tho i was supposed to prepare for a something that i ~might~ report that day but fuck it)~~ and i'd like to believe oikawa likes to change his friends' contact names from time to time

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Friday, 9:00 AM_ **

 

 **[9:00] Me:** i fel s dsed

 **[9:00] Me:** thers lieke a hewrt

 **[9:00] Me:** i vrey pahtr fmy boey

 **[9:00] Me:** cahnt fvem twpde pssromqerlyt

 

 **[9:10] BABE:** wtf

 **[9:10] Me:** bessssssssssb

 **[9:10] BABE:** turn on autocorrect

 **[9:10] BABE:** are you okay

 **[9:11] Me:** ate any o us

 **[9:11] BABE:** don’t go all dramatic on me now

 **[9:11] BABE:** really, are you okay

 **[9:12] Me:** so u do car

 **[9:12] BABE:** no shit

 **[9:12] BABE:** now what’s wrong

 **[9:14] Me:** …i mayo r may no vhae

 **[9:14] Me:** downer ten cups of coffin?

 **[9:14] Me:**  coffee

 **[9:15] BABE:** what the actual fuck

 **[9:15] BABE:** what were you thinking

 **[9:16] Me:** i was not

 **[9:16] Me:** i have a testicles at 10

 **[9:16] Me:** and i have nut slept

 **[9:17] BABE:** wtf

 **[9:17] Me:** wait no

 **[9:17] Me:** i men test

 **[9:18] BABE:** that’s why i told you to sleep

 **[9:19] Me:** cant go bac cow

 **[9:19] BABE:** you could skip

 **[9:20] Me:** no

 **[9:20] Me:** our of the quest

 **[9:21] BABE:** at least get some sleep after

 **[9:22] Me:** but i sill haev classss

 **[9:22] BABE:** then ditch

 **[9:22] BABE:** i swear if you don’t get any sleep

 **[9:23] BABE:** i'll personally drag you to bed myself

 **[9:24] Me:** scayyyyyy

 **[9:24] Me:** u donut even know me

 **[9:24] Me:** hoe will u do taht

 **[9:25] BABE:** i have my ways

 **[9:25] BABE:** now get some rest

 **[9:26] BABE:** before your test starts

 **[9:28] Me:** i sigenfd up fosger a boyffvdriend

 **[9:28] Me:** nodft a thdfvird motfdghher

 **[9:30] BABE:** shush

 

\---

 

 **[9:15] Lizard Fucker:** what the hell, shittykawa

 **[9:15] Lizard Fucker:** what are you doing

 **[9:17] Me:** so u doc cart, iwa-chan!!!

 **[9:17] Lizard Fucker:** no i don’t

 **[9:17] Lizard Fucker:** you can die for all i care

 **[9:18] Me:** men, iwa-chan!!!!

 **[9:20] Lizard Fucker:** go to sleep

 **[9:20] Me:** b

 **[9:21] Lizard Fucker:** g o  t o  s l e e p

 **[9:21] Me:**   u cant maek me

 **[9:22] Lizard Fucker:** i will personally drag you to bed

 **[9:22] Me:** k i n k y

 **[9:23] Lizard Fucker:** i swear oikawa

 **[9:23] Me:** fine fin

 **[9:23] Me:** butt not now

 **[9:24] Me:** i have a testicle

 **[9:24] Me:** a test

 **[9:25] Me:** an i ned to passss

 **[9:26] Lizard Fucker:** you’re an idiot

 **[9:27] Me:** gland to know u car i was change!!!

 **[9:27] Me:** **iwa-chan

 **[9:27] Me:** fork

 **[9:27] Me:** **fuck

 **[9:28] Lizard Fucker:** just get some rest before you kill yourself

 **[9:29] Me:** yef mothefdcr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> same, oikawa, same. (tbh, i wanted to try and down as much coffee as i can until i feel the same [which usually just takes two, i've never had more than that???] for authenticity??? idk but i remembered i don’t have coffee and i actually hate coffee [and am just drinking it out of need, although it doesn’t always work on me] so i just tried to type everything out on my phone while walking ~~and might have almost fallen down the stairs~~ )  
> anywayyy, please get some sleep y'all


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **[7:41] Me:** christ  
>  **[7:41] Me:** ur like a mom  
>  **[7:42] BABE:** i've been told that a lot 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …so i promised myself i won’t put up an update until i finish writing updates for my other fics but then i ended coming up with two new fic ideas and no updates for the others, but here’s a chapter that i wrote during class ~~@fics, pls let me study~~

** Contact Name: Akaashi Keiji **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Saturday, 9:00 AM_ **

 

**[9:00] Me:** Iwaizumi-san

**[9:03] Iwaizumi Hajime:** yes, akaashi?

**[9:04] Me:** Have you seen Oikawa-san?

**[9:05] Me:** Or rather, have you heard from him?

**[9:06] Iwaizumi Hajime:** no, why?

**[9:06] Iwaizumi Hajime:** did trashykawa do something again?

**[9:07] Me:** It’s not that.

**[9:08] Me:** He hasn’t shown up at class or morning practice.

**[9:08] Me:** I thought something must’ve happened.

**[9:09] Iwaizumi Hajime:** he probably just overslept

**[9:10] Iwaizumi Hajime:** i'll check up on him

**[9:10] Iwaizumi Hajime:** so just go back to class

**[9:11] Me:** Thank you, Iwaizumi-san.

**[9:12] Iwaizumi Hajime:** np, np

 

\---

 

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Saturday, 9:28 AM_ **

 

**[9:28] Lizard Fucker:** shittykawa

**[9:28] Lizard Fucker:** shittykawa

**[9:29] Lizard Fucker:** are you there

**[9:30] Lizard Fucker:** akaashi said you didn’t come to class

**[9:30] Lizard Fucker:** don’t tell me you ditched

**[9:31] Lizard Fucker:** trashykawa

**[9:31] Lizard Fucker:** you alive?

 

\---

 

**[10:00] Heaven-Sent:** Oikawa-san, you missed class today.

**[10:00] Heaven-Sent:** Are you okay?

 

**[10:34] Heaven-Sent:** Do you want me to bring you something?

 

**[11:02] Me:** keiji-chaaaaaaaan

**[11:03] Me:** u truly are heaven-sent

**[11:06] Heaven-Sent:** …I’ll take that as a yes then.

 

**[11:03] Me:** iwa-chaaaaaaaan

**[11:04] Me:** so u do care abt me!!!! (≧◡≦) ♡

**[11:06] Lizard Fucker:** no

**[11:07] Lizard Fucker:** akaashi was just worried

**[11:07] Lizard Fucker:** so I thought I should ask

**[11:08] Me:** mean, iwa-chan!!!!

**[11:08] Me:** at least keiji-chan cares abt me ):

**[11:09] Lizard Fucker:** nah

**[11:10] Lizard Fucker:** he probably just tolerates you

**[11:10] Lizard Fucker:** he is a saint after all

**[11:11] Me:** shush

 

\---

 

 

**_Saturday, 7:00 PM_ **

 

**[7:00] BABE:** hey

**[7:00] BABE:** are you alive

 

**[7:23] Me:** baaaaaaabe

**[7:24] BABE:** you okay?

**[7:25] Me:** aww, ur worried abt me

**[7:27] BABE:** well…you haven’t been bugging me for the past hours

**[7:27] BABE:** so i thought something might be wrong

**[7:28] BABE:** so, are you okay?

**[7:29] Me:** glad to know u care!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

**[7:29] Me:** did u miss me

**[7:30] BABE:** heavens no

**[7:30] BABE:** it was a relief actually

**[7:31] BABE:** but i figured something was wrong

**[7:31] BABE:** did something happen

**[7:32] Me:** ur right tho

**[7:32] Me:** i got sick (ಥ﹏ಥ)

**[7:32] Me:** but im okay now!!!! (*´▽`*)

**[7:33] BABE:** let me guess…

**[7:34] BABE:** caffeine overdose?

**[7:35] Me:** how did u know????

**[7:36] BABE:** well, you did say you drank ten cups of coffee yesterday

**[7:36] BABE:** _ten_ cups of coffee

**[7:36] BABE:** _ten_

**[7:37] BABE:** that’s like _sixteen_ times the amount of caffeine recommended

**[7:37] BABE:** _sixteen_

**[7:38] Me:** pls dont lecture me

**[7:38] Me:** ive had enough lectures already

**[7:39] BABE:** but are you really okay now?

**[7:39] BABE:** did you take medicine?

**[7:40] BABE:** have you eaten?

**[7:40] BABE:** did you get some proper rest?

**[7:41] Me:** christ

**[7:41] Me:** ur like a mom

**[7:42] BABE:** i've been told that a lot

**[7:42] BABE:** that aside, are you really okay now?

**[7:43] Me:** aww, so u do care abt me

**[7:43] Me:** but yes, im okay now!!!

**[7:44] Me:** keiji-chan already gave me medicine n took care of me

**[7:44] Me:** now that i think about it

**[7:45] Me:** he reminds me of u

**[7:46] BABE:** how?

**[7:47] Me:** both of u are like moms

**[7:48] BABE:** shush

**[7:49] Me:** and keiji-chan is so amazing

**[7:49] Me:** he even knew what was wrong

**[7:49] Me:** tho i didnt say anything

**[7:50] Me:** thats definitely mom-like to me

**[7:51] BABE:** well at least you’re okay now

**[7:51] BABE:**

**[7:52] BABE:** wait

**[7:52] BABE:** keiji-chan?

**[7:53] Me:** akaashi keiji

**[7:53] Me:** hes a friend of mine

**[7:53] Me:** also vvv pretty

**[7:54] Me:** its unfair rly

**[7:54] Me:** u jealous

**[7:55] BABE:** hell no

**[7:55] BABE:** you can have him for all I care

**[7:56] BABE:** the name just rings a bell

**[7:57] BABE:** akaashi keiji, right?

**[7:58] BABE:** hm

**[7:59] Me:** ???

**[8:00] BABE:** oh

**[8:00] BABE:** _oh_

**[8:01] BABE:** now i remember

**[8:01] BABE:** so it is the akaashi i know

**[8:02] BABE:** should’ve known

**[8:03] Me:** wait

**[8:03] Me:** wait

**[8:04] Me:** hold up

**[8:04] Me:** u know keiji????

**[8:05] BABE:** yes?

**[8:05] BABE:** he’s a friend i met at training camp once

**[8:06] Me:** woah

**[8:06] Me:** another mutual friend!!!!

**[8:07] Me:** im p sure this is fate!!!!

**[8:08] BABE:** hold on

**[8:08] BABE:** _another_?

**[8:09] BABE:** who’s the other one?

**[8:10] Me:** sawamura, ofc!!!

**[8:11] BABE:** nope

**[8:11] BABE:** no

**[8:12] BABE:** don’t know any sawamura

**[8:13] Me:** stop denying it

**[8:14] Me:** i can sense ur lies

**[8:15] BABE:** no you can’t

**[8:16] Me:** u cant fool me w ur lies (￢‿￢ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now we have akaashi!!! (im sorry, i cant help but add him in) so if you noticed (and looked back on the previous chapter), i changed twelve to ten bc i just did some research and okay, twelve cups of coffee equals to an ungodly amount of caffeine (almost like five times the suggested amount for adults, and twenty times the suggested amount for those aged 13-18 [and idk but i read that the suggested amt is 100 mg, and brewed coffee has approx. 163 mg]) and i am trying to make my fics as realistic as possible so research….  
> aaand i have a quiz in a few hours and im not prepared and i did this in a rush and im def going to edit minor details (format etc) later so that’s all (: [please dont drink too much coffee]


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
> **[2:11] Oikawa:** im goingf to die of strvation  
>  **[2:11] Oikawa:** i dont wanna dieeeeee  
>  **[2:12] Oikawa:** im too petty to die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....so here's more of akaashi + some others!!!

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 1:12 AM_ **

 

 **[1:12] Me:** keiji-chan

 **[1:12] Me:** whats the easiest dish i could make rn

 

 **[1:17] Heaven-Sent:** Oikawa-san, please step away from the stove.

 **[1:18] Me:** rude, keiji-chan!!!

 **[1:19] Heaven-Sent:** I am only looking out for you.

 **[1:19] Heaven-Sent:** So please don’t touch anything.

 **[1:20] Me:** but im hunryyyyyyyy

 **[1:20] Me:** i also dont have much food left

 **[1:20] Me:** n its too dark n cold to go outside

 **[1:21] Me:** do u want me to starve, keiji-chan???? (；￣Д￣)

 **[1:22] Heaven-Sent:** Rather than having you burn the whole apartment complex down, a few hours of starvation seems like a better option.

 **[1:23] Me:** rude!!! (＞﹏＜)

 **[1:24] Heaven-Sent:** Better you than all of them, Oikawa-san.

 **[1:25] Me:** i get the feeling that ur actually satan

 **[1:26] satan-in-disguise:** Haven’t you tried searching for recipes on Google?

 **[1:27] Me:** i did

 **[1:27] Me:** but!!!!

 **[1:28] Me:** they all seem too hard

 **[1:28] Me:** i dont even hav all those ingerdsints

 **[1:29] Me:** help me, keiji-chan

 **[1:29] Me:** plssssssssss

 **[1:30] satan-in-disguise:** I’ll try to think of something.

 

  


  


\---

  


  


  


** Contact Name: Akaashi Keiji **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 1:30 AM_ **

 

 **[1:30] Me:** Yahaba

 **[1:31] Me:** Do you think you could come over at Oikawa-san’s place right now?

 

 **[1:39] Yahaba:** holy sht akaashi

 **[1:39] Yahaba:** do you know what time it is

 **[1:40] Me:** Yes, I am aware.

 **[1:41] Yahaba:** why tf do you even need me to go

 **[1:42] Me:** To ensure the safety of the public.

 **[1:43] Yahaba:** ?????

 **[1:43] Yahaba:** anyway, i can’t go even if i want to

 **[1:44] Yahaba:** dorm curfews and all

 **[1:45] Me:** I see. I didn’t know you moved into a dorm now.

 **[1:45] Me:** Sorry for the disturbance. Good night, Yahaba.

 **[1:46] Yahaba:** it’s just temporary

 **[1:46] Yahaba:** and dw abt it

 **[1:47] Yahaba:** night, akaashi

 

  


-

  


 

 **[1:49] Me:** Yaku-san?

**[1:55] Yaku:** godas daminte kaashi

 **[1:55] Yaku:** whaft tme do u thindk isd is

 **[1:56] Yaku:** wdsy aer u rup

 **[1:57] Me:** I wanted to ask you a favor, if possible.

 **[1:58] Yaku:** no

 **[1:58] Yaku:** itsfd too eagrly fo ths

 **[1:59] Yaku:** goats gto sleap

 **[1:59] Yaku:** itdf unheasthy to stafsdy uf thid ldsfte

 **[2:00] Me:** But you are awake too, Yaku-san?

 **[2:01] Yaku:** shusfdghh

 **[2:01] Yaku:** gofds to leesp

 **[2:02] Me:** You seem to need more sleep than I do, Yaku-san.

 **[2:03] Yaku:**   grdt ur stuaspid-ass pelkrfect speeelin aywa frmm me

 **[2:04] Me:** ….right. Good night then, Yaku-san.

 **[2:05] Yaku:** dscnighfsdt

  


 

-

  


 

 **[2:02] Me:** Kenma? I know you’re up.

 **[2:03] Kenma:** no

 **[2:04] Me:** I haven’t even said anything yet?

 **[2:05] Kenma:** I know what you’re thinking, and no.

 **[2:06] Me:** Alright.

 **[2:06] Me:** Don’t stay up too late playing video games.

 **[2:07] Kenma:** ur not my mom

 **[2:08] Me:** Good night to you too, Kenma.

  


 

**-**

**  
**

**[1:33] Oikawa:** do u think i could make an omerlt if i tried

 

 **[2:10] Me:** Oikawa-san, no.

 **[2:10] Me:** Please step away from the stove.

 **[2:11] Oikawa:** but im rllllyyyyyyyy hunrgy (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **[2:11] Oikawa:** im goingf to die of strvation

 **[2:11] Oikawa:** i dont wanna dieeeeee

 **[2:12] Oikawa:** im too petty to die

 **[2:12] Oikawa:** fuck

 **[2:13] Oikawa:** ***pretty

 **[2:14] Me:** Please hold on a little longer, Oikawa-san.

 

  


-

  


 

 **[2:15] Me:** Kuroo-san, are you awake?

 

 **[2:22] Kuroo:** ohohoho?

 **[2:22] Kuroo:** whats thisssss

 **[2:23] Kuroo:** akaashi willingly texting me?

 **[2:23] Kuroo:** ohohoho

 **[2:24] Kuroo:** i must screenshot this for posterity purposes

 **[2:25] Me:** You know what, never mind.

 **[2:25] Me:** Good night, Kuroo-san.

 **[2:26] Kuroo:** wait no

 **[2:26] Kuroo:** akaashi don’t go!!!!

 **[2:27] Kuroo:** babe pls

 **[2:27] Kuroo:** i take everything back

 **[2:28] Kuroo:** baby don’t go

 **[2:28] Kuroo:** pls come bac

 **[2:29] Kuroo:** don’t leave me

 **[2:29] Kuroo:** damn it ):

 

  


-

  


 

 **[2:28] Me:** Iwaizumi-san?

 **[2:30] Iwaizumi:** On it.

 **[2:31] Me:** But I haven’t even said anything yet.

 **[2:32] Iwaizumi:** trashykawa did something again, didn’t he?

 

 **[2:40] Iwaizumi:** knew it

 **[2:41] Iwaizumi:** what did he do this time?

 **[2:42] Me:** He hasn’t done anything, yet.

 **[2:43] Iwaizumi:** ‘yet’?

 **[2:44] Me:** Iwaizumi-san, please tell him to not touch the stove.

 **[2:45] Iwaizumi:** god fuCKING DAMN IT

 **[2:45] Iwaizumi:** HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL THAT IDIOT THAT HE ISNT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE STOVE

 **[2:46] Iwaizumi:** dw, akaashi

 **[2:46] Iwaizumi:** I got this

 **[2:47] Me:** Thank you, Iwaizumi-san.

 

  


  


\---

  


  


 

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 1:55 AM_ **

 

 **[1:55] evil creampuff:** Oikawa-san, please don’t touch the stove

 

 **[2:00] Me:** rude, yahaba-chan!!! (ب_ب)

 **[2:02] evil creampuff:** just don’t

  


 

-

  


 

 **[2:12] smol bol of hatred:** Donfgt efcven thisnk abtd toucins the steve, Oiaswa

**[2:16] Me:** yes, mom

**[2:21] smol bol of hatred:** i mesnt it

 **[2:22] Me:** u know, ur less threatening when u cant spell shit right  


 **[2:23] smol bol of hatred:** shfhush  


  


 

-

  


 

 **[2:14] pudding child:** don’t even think about it

 **[2:16] Me:**  but ken-chaaaaaan

 **[2:17] pudding child:** no

 **[2:17] pudding child:** we all know what’d happen if u tried

 **[2:18] Me:** meanie o(〒﹏〒)o

  


  


-

  


 

 **[2:33] bedhead asshole:** no, oikawa.

 **[2:34] Me:** fuck u too, kuroo

 

  


-

  


 

 **[2:46] Lizard Fucker:** SHITTYKAWA STEP AWAY FROM THE STOVE

 **[2:46] Lizard Fucker:** DON’T U DARE TRY BURN THE APARTMENT DOWN

 **[2:48] Me:** wow

 **[2:48] Me:** tnx for believing in me, iwa-chan

 **[2:49] Me:** pls hav more faith in me

 **[2:50] Lizard Fucker:** no

 **[2:51] Lizard Fucker:** just

 **[2:51] Lizard Fucker:** don’t you dare even try

 **[2:52] Me:** wow

 **[2:52] Me:** fuck u too, iwa-chan

 **[2:53] Lizard Fucker:** shittykawa, you can’t cook

 **[2:53] Lizard Fucker:** remember last time?

 **[2:54] Me:** rude

 **[2:54] Me:** ive improved a lot since then

 **[2:55] Lizard Fucker:** oh have you?

 **[2:56] Me:** s h u t

 **[2:56] Me:** ill never know unless i try, ryt (◕‿◕✿)

 **[2:57] Lizard Fucker:** oikawa no

 **[2:58] Me:** oikawa yes

 **[2:59] Lizard Fucker:** please don’t even think about it

 **[3:00] Me:** jokes on u, iwa-chan

 **[3:00] Me:** im going to do it

 **[3:01] Lizard Fucker:** GOD DMAN IT NO

 **[3:01] Lizard Fucker:** i swear im going to shove that stove up your ass if you do  


 **[3:02] Me:** k i n ky  


 **[3:02] Me:** but  


 **[3:02] Me:** u caaaaant stop meeee

 **[3:03] Lizard Fucker:** fuck

 

  


  


\---

  


  


 

** Contact Name: Iwaizumi Hajime **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 3:00 AM_ **

 

 **[3:00] Me:** um, akaashi?

 **[3:01] akaashi:** Yes, Iwaizumi-san?

 **[3:02] Me:** I think I messed up

 **[3:03] akaashi:** Oh.

 **[3:03] akaashi:** Should I phone the fire department in advance?

 **[3:04] Me:** uhhh…

 **[3:05] akaashi:** I’m kidding, Iwaizumi-san.

 **[3:06] Me:** oh…

 **[3:06] Me:** sorry about all this

 

 **[3:11] akaashi:** Are you worried about him?

 **[3:12] Me:** kind of

 **[3:12] Me:** that idiot can’t cook to save his life

 **[3:13] Me:** what if he actually burns his apartment down

 **[3:13] Me:** or worsre

 **[3:15] akaashi:** ….

 **[3:15] akaashi:** I’ll go check on him, then.

 **[3:16] Me:** but don’t you have a dorm curfew?

 **[3:17] akaashi:** I’ll find a way, somehow.

 **[3:18] Me:** thanks, akaashi

 **[3:18] Me:**  you're a lifesaver

 **[3:20] akaashi:** No problem, Iwaizumi-san.

 **[3:20] akaashi:** I probably should get going now.

 **[3:21] Me:** right

 **[3:21] Me:** keep me updated, yeah?

 **[3:22] akaashi:** Of course.

 **[3:22] akaashi:** Goodbye, Iwaizumi-san. I’ll talk to you later.

 **[3:23] Me:** yeah

 **[3:23] Me:** bye akaashi

  


  


-

  


  


**[3:56] alien nerd:** __iwa-chan, rude!!!!  


 **[3:56] alien nerd:** i thought u had mor faith in me  


  


**[4:05] Me:** well if i can't stop you  


 **[4:05] Me:** at least akaashi can  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'd like to believe that oikawa can’t cook. and how did he survive living alone, you ask? easy. instant noodles, prepared/store-bought meals, and take-outs (also some of his friends would probs come over and cook for him) aaaand this chapter was just done out of the blue, inspired by my own hunger (maybe i should finally get something to eat) and i don’t know where this is going tbh, maybe i'll focus on suga next time or maybe there’s pt2 of this (where tf is suga anywayssss)…who knows? ~~definitely not me~~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
> **[7:52] smol bol of hatred:** it was nice knowing you, oikawa  
>  **[7:53] smol bol of hatred:** actually…  
>  **[7:53] smol bol of hatred:** it was not  
>  **[7:53] smol bol of hatred:** rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pretends to be working on my case study but is actually writing fanfics*

Oikawa fucked up. That was all there is to it.

He thought it would be easy, honestly. The internet made it seem so easy. So now that it has come to this, he really did not expect that he would fuck up grandly.

And now he does not know what to do.

As soon as the first tendrils of orange shot up, his mind blanked out. He was so lost in the warm colors erupting from the pan in hand that he did not even hear the door opening.

 

-

 

Akaashi’s head was throbbing. But he had no other choice.

If he valued the public good, he’d go through with it.

Besides, he was already there. There was no backing out now. (And he’s already out, can’t go risking getting himself caught when he heads back to the dorms immediately)

Akaashi sighed in exasperation as he made his way into the tall brunet’s apartment, which was unsurprisingly unlocked, and immediately, a hand came up to rub his now throbbing temples. “Oikawa-san, you’re an idiot.” He deadpans, watching the unmoving brunet for a moment. He does not get a proper response, only a vague, choked-up noise.

He already feels another headache coming up.

 

-

  

** Contact Name: Iwaizumi Hajime **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 6:30 AM_ **

****

**[6:30] Me:** so?

 **[6:30] Me:** how did it go

 

 **[6:53] akaashi:** the pan burst into flames whn i arved

 **[6:53] akaashi:** and he ws just standing there

 **[6:53] akaashi:** staring at the pan in horror

 **[6:54] Me:** i can hear you sighing eternally into the distance

 **[6:55] akaashi:** ugh

 **[6:55] Me:** no perfect spelling and punctuation today?

 **[6:56] akaashi:** shts up

 **[6:56] akaashi:** i didn’t get ny slep because of it

 

\--- 

 

** Contact Name: Oikawa Tooru **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 5:25 AM_ **

 

 **[5:25] BABE:** you know what

 **[5:25] BABE:** i'm so done 

 **[5:25] BABE:** fuck them all

 **[5:26] BABE:** i've done everything i can

 **[5:26] BABE:** i give up

 **[5:26] BABE:** i'm just going to down bleach instead

 

 **[5:30] Me:** nice to talk to you again too, babe

 

- 

 

**_Monday, 6:45 AM_ **

 

 **[6:45] Me:** babe quick

 **[6:45] Me:** how do u sate a sleep-deprived satan

 **[6:45] Me:** this is a life-or-death matter

 

 **[6:54] Me:** pls respond

 **[6:54] Me:** im too young to die

**[7:00] BABE:** uh, i don’t know

 **[7:04] BABE:** sacrifice the body of a virgin, maybe?

 

 **[7:10] Me:** not helping!!!!

 

 **[7:15] BABE:** oh uh…

 **[7:15] BABE:** coffee!!

 **[7:15] BABE:** give satan coffee

 **[7:16] BABE:** does satan drink coffee though?

 **[7:16] Me:** ur a genius!!!!

 **[7:17] BABE:** what did you even do

 **[7:18] Me:** i am an innocent citizen of Japan who has done n o t h i n g

 **[7:19] BABE:** right…

 **[7:20] Me:** pls have more faith in me!!!!

 **[7:20] BABE:** uh huh

 **[7:21] Me:** fine

 **[7:21] Me:** gtg

 **[7:21] Me:** need to give satan his coffee

 **[7:22] BABE:** good luck!!!

 

-

 

 **[7:30] Me:** MORI-CHAN QUICK

 **[7:30] Me:** KEIJI-CHAN’S GODN TO KIL ME

 

 **[7:37] smol bol of hatred:** thank goodness

 **[7:38] Me:** NOT THE TIEM FOR THIS!!!!

 **[7:38] Me:** I NEED HELP????

 **[7:39] smol bol of hatred:** ugh fine

 **[7:39] smol bol of hatred:** what did you do this time?

 **[7:39] Me:**   _‘this time’_???

 **[7:40] smol bol of hatred:** you’re always doing something

 **[7:40] Me:** BUT ANYWXZY!!!!

 **[7:40] Me:** I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE INCURRRD HIS WhRAT

 **[7:41] smol bol of hatred:** obviously

 **[7:41] smol bol of hatred:** how is he?

 **[7:42] Me:** HES UNCHARACTERDSILLY CRANY TODAY!!!!!

 **[7:43] smol bol of hatred:** did he get enough sleep?

 **[7:43] smol bol of hatred:** he’s never a morning person

 **[7:43] smol bol of hatred:** and he usually gets like that if he doesn’t sleep enough

 **[7:43] Me:** MYBBB

 **[7:44] Me:** HE STYAD UP LATE COKSING FOR ME!!!

 **[7:44] smol bol of hatred:** wtf

 **[7:45] Me:** HLP!!!!

 **[7:45] Me:** HES GONG TO ILL ME!!!

 **[7:45] Me:** WHGAT DO I DO

 **[7:46] smol bol of hatred:** get him some tea quick

 **[7:46] Me:** I DON HVE TEA!!!!!

 **[7:47] smol bol of hatred:** get him some damn tea

 **[7:48] Me:** WONT COFFE WOK???!!!

 **[7:48] smol bol of hatred:** NO

 **[7:49] smol bol of hatred:** coffee will only make him angrier

 **[7:50] Me:** OH

 **[7:50] Me:** _OH_

 **[7:51] smol bol of hatred:** you gave him coffee didn’t you?

 **[7:52] Me:** MYBE??

 **[7:52] smol bol of hatred:** it was nice knowing you, oikawa

 **[7:53] smol bol of hatred:** actually…

 **[7:53] smol bol of hatred:** it was not

 **[7:53] smol bol of hatred:** rip

 **[7:54] Me:** MORI-CHAAAAN!!!!

 **[7:54] Me:** HELP ME

 **[7:55] smol bol of hatred:** just get him his tea ffs

 

 **[8:02] Me:** I GORT HS TEA

 **[8:02] Me:** BT M NOT APPRDACHN HIM

 

 **[8:06] smol bol of hatred:** your problem

 **[8:08] Me:** MORI-CHAAAAN

 **[8:08] Me:** HELP ME

 **[8:08] Me:** SED HEL

 **[8:09] Me:** PLS

 **[8:09] Me:** I NEED A HMAN SACFRDCE

 **[8:10] Me:** SNED BOKRTO

 **[8:10] Me:** HE CABDN B THS ACRIFUCE

 **[8:11] smol bol of hatred:** as i said

 **[8:11] smol bol of hatred:** your problem

 **[8:12] smol bol of hatred:** deal with it yourself

 **[8:13] Me:** ASDFGHJK,L.K,MJHNGFBDDASW

 **[8:13] Me:** AFSGTHYJHNBVCDEWRTYJUMH

**[8:18] smol bol of hatred:** um

 

\---

 

** Contact Name: Iwaizumi Hajime **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 8:20 AM_ **

 

 **[8:20] yaku:** can you please send daichi over at oikawa’s?

 **[8:21] Me:** why

 **[8:22] yaku:** to prevent a murder

 **[8:23] Me:** what did he do this time?

 **[8:24] yaku:** help now, talk later

 **[8:25] Me:** fine

 

 **[8:27] Me:** sawamura?

 **[8:27] Me:** can you please come over to shittykawa’s apartment?

 **[8:30] sawamura:** am I allowed to ask why?

 **[8:31] Me:** I’ll explain later

 **[8:31] Me:** you’ll probably get your explanation when you get there

 **[8:32] Me:** please head over immediately

 **[8:33] sawamura:** sure

 

\---

 

** Contact Name: Sugawara Koushi **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 7:30 AM_ **

 

 **[7:30] Me:** so, we’re still on for breakfast right?

 

 **[7:36] thighchi:** yes, suga

 **[7:36] thighchi:** this is the nth time you asked that

 **[7:37] Me:** sorry, sorry

 **[7:37] Me:** just making sure!!!

 

-

  

 **[7:55] problem child #1:** SUGA-SAAAAAN

 **[7:55] problem child #1:** UR GOIN 2 DO IT TODAY

 **[7:55]** **problem child #1:** RIGT????

 **[7:56] Me:** maybe

 **[7:56] Me:** if things go right…

 **[7:57] problem child #1:** NO

 **[7:57] problem child #1:** U MUST DO IT TODASYYYY!!!

 **[7:58] problem child #1:** IM NOT ACXEPTING EXSUSES

 **[7:59] Me:** fine fine

 **[8:00] problem child #1:** U BETTTERF RMEMBER THE DEAL

 **[8:00] problem child #1:** OKAY?!??!?

 **[8:01] Me:** yes, noya

 **[8:01] Me:** now go bother someone else

 **[8:02] problem child #1:** WEFLL BE WATING!!!

 

-

  

 **[8:10] jesus:** good luck, suga!

 

 **[8:15] Me:** shush

 

-

 

 **[8:35] thighchi:** um, suga?

 **[8:37] Me:** yes?

 **[8:38] thighchi:** I won’t be able to make it

 **[8:39] Me:** oh

 **[8:39] Me:** is everything alright?

 **[8:40] thighchi:** sorry

 **[8:40] thighchi:** I’m kind of preoccupied right now

 **[8:41] Me:** it’s alright

 **[8:41] Me:** what are you doing anyway??

 **[8:42] thighchi:** preventing a murder

 **[8:43] Me:** um ok

 **[8:44] thighchi:** it’s not a lie, okay???

 **[8:45] Me:** chill, daichi

 **[8:45] Me:** i believe you

 **[8:46] Me:** we can reschedule anyway

 **[8:46] Me:** but!!!

 **[8:46] Me:** i'll forgive you if you treat me next time!

 **[8:47] thighchi:** sure, sure

 **[8:48] Me:** great!

 **[8:48] Me:** we can talk about this later

 **[8:49] Me:** good luck, don't die!!!

 **[8:50 thighchi:** right

 **[8:50] thighchi:** bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaahhhhhhh 100 kudos i can’t believe people actually like this wtf????? anywayyyyyyy, next chapter, i'm definitely backtracking and focusing on suga (to provide explanations) so look out for it!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip suga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes hello this fic exists,,,right i forgot  
> (whispers: ranting suga is actually just me bc srsly, what is wrong w our teachers + school)

** Contact Name: Sugawara Koushi **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

 

**_Saturday, 11:35 PM_ **

 

 **[11:35] Me:** ugh fucking kill me now

 **[11:35] Me:** i'm dead

 **[11:35] Me:** i'm gone

 **[11:36] Me:** just fucking kill me already

 **[11:36] Me:** hey

 **[11:37] Me:** how deep in the internet should i go to find a hitman

 **[11:37] Me:** wait

 **[11:38] Me:** do you think you could shoot me

 **[11:38] Me:** bc i'm broke and i don’t think i can afford hiring a hitman

 **[11:38] Me:** ughhh why is the whole world against me like this

 **[11:39] Me:** what did I do wrong

 **[11:39] Me:** why must they make me suffer

 **[11:39] Me:** i want to chug bleach

 

 **[11:42] not daichi:** woah tone down the angst there, mum

 **[11:43] Me:** but i thought i was your boyfriend?

 **[11:43] not daichi:** so you _do_ acknowledge me as your boyfriend!!!!

 **[11:44] Me:** what?

 **[11:44] Me:** no nvm

 **[11:44] Me:** i'm your mother

 **[11:45] not daichi:** i knew u loved me 2 babe!!!!

 **[11:45] Me:** ew no

 **[11:45] not daichi:** anywayyyy

 **[11:46] not daichi:** what ails u, my dear boyfriend?

 **[11:46] Me:** i'm glad you asked

 **[11:47] Me:** well you see…

 **[11:47] Me:** I’VE GOT SIX PAPERS DUE MONDAY AND TWO SUPPOSEDLY DUE AT MIDNIGHT

 **[11:48] Me:** I JUST WANT TO FUCKING CHUG HYDROCHLORIC ACID

 **[11:49] not daichi:** rip

 **[11:49] not daichi:** it was nice while the romance lasted

 **[11:50]** **Me:** rude

 **[11:50] Me:** i'm not dead

 **[11:50] Me:** _yet_

 **[11:51] not daichi:** but u will be

 **[11:51] not daichi:** if u don’t start on those papers soon

 **[11:51] Me:** shut up

 **[11:51] Me:** i didn’t come here to be attacked like this

 **[11:52] not daichi:** so what did u come here for?

 **[11:52] Me:** fuck uh

 **[11:52] Me:** I forgot

 **[11:53] not daichi:** hey if ur going to die

 **[11:53] not daichi:** do u think u could like, maybe put me in ur will??

 **[11:54] Me:** no

 **[11:54] Me:** if i die, everything i own is going to daichi

 **[11:55] not daichi:** _if?_

 **[11:55] Me:** i won't rule out the possibility that i'm actually immortal, okay?

 **[11:55] not daichi:** wait

 **[11:55] not daichi:** as much as i love talkin to u

 **[11:56] not daichi:** i thought u had a paper due midnight?

 **[11:56] Me:** fuck

 **[11:56] Me:** i,,,,

 **[11:56] Me:** i'm going to die, aren’t i

 **[11:56] Me:** well then

 **[11:57] Me:** goodbye

 **[11:57] Me:** for the next few days

 **[11:57] Me:** bc who knows when i'll see the sun rise again

 **[11:58] not daichi:** stop being overly dramatic and get started on your papers

 **[11:58] Me:** aw look at you being all responsible now

 **[11:58] Me:** never thought i'd see the day when i'm the one that’s being lectured

 **[11:59] Me:** oh how the tables have turned

 **[11:59] not daichi:** shut up its like almost midnight now

 **[11:59] not daichi:** get started on those papers

 **[12:00] Me:** fUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that was short, um im sorry??? it's been a while!!!!! im actually surprised i managed to update hahahahah but okay that's just how it goes w me so no surprises. just note that my updates will ALWAYS be sporadic, like i might be posting chapter after chapter and then ill probably disappear for a year or two so idk when the next chap will come out but i hope y'all liked this trash (also i added some extra bits in the first chap but its totally ignorable,,,i just didnt like leaving holes in the story etc)  
> i have no idea whats going to happen next tbh, and the chances this will get updated real quick is slim bc i have tons of shit to write/continue + i have to study more but well, whatever we'll see what i come up with. but ill really try to churn out the next chap as quickly as possible (given i dont get distracted again)  
> idk what im talking about now,,,anyway hmu on [tumblr](https://vvdesd.tumblr.com/) if u have time or smth


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **[10:35] Me:** oh god  
>  **[10:35] Me:** oh no  
>  **[10:36] not daichi:** mhm  
>  **[10:36] Me:** oh fucking no  
>  **[10:36] not daichi:** guess its safe to say u scrolled up  
>  **[10:37] Me:** oh my fucknig god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello...it's been a while ahahah

** Contact Name: Sugawara Koushi **

** Contact Number: 09XXXXXXXXX **

 

**_Monday, 3:30 PM_ **

 

**_[Operation: Get Suga-san that ~~ass~~ thighs]_ **

 

 **[3:30] problem child #1:** SO HW WAS T DATE SUGA-SAN!??!?

 **[3:30] problem child #1:** CMOND HOW WAX IT???

 **[3:31] Me:** what did I tell you about inside voices, noya?

 **[3:31] problem child #1:** ….

 **[3:31] problem child #1:** …to not use them?

 **[3:32]** **Me:** try again

 **[3:32] problem child #1:** …to use them at all costs

 **[3:32] problem child #1:** or our lives will be lost?

 **[3:33] Me:** noya…

 **[3:33] problem child #1:** ….i forgot

 **[3:33] Me:** well, that was close enough

 **[3:33] Me:** that applies to you too, tanaka

 **[3:34]** **problem child #2:** anyway!!!

 **[3:34] problem child #2:** tel us abt the date!!!!!!!!

 **[3:34] Me:** it didn’t happen

 **[3:35] Me:** and even if it did, it won’t be a date

 **[3:35] problem child #1:** WATH

 **[3:35] problem child #2:** WHAT

 **[3:35] problem child #2** : WHART DO U MEATN IT DNT HPEN

 **[3:36] Me:** inside voices!!!

 **[3:36] problem child #2:** but suga-san!!! wht did u men wehzn u ssaid it didnt haprn??

 **[3:37] Me:** it means just that

 **[3:37] Me:** it didn’t happen

 **[3:37] problem child #2:** bt whyyyyy

 **[3:38] problem child #1:** yea, y????

 **[3:38] Me:** because, daichi said he had some important business to attend to

 **[3:39] problem child #2:** mor imprtant than u?

 **[3:39] Me:** shut up, tanaka

 **[3:39] mom jr:** Well, if it means he must ditch breakfast with Suga-san, then it really must be important.

 **[3:39] Me:** not you too, ennoshita

 **[3:39] mom jr:** What?

 **[3:40] problem child #1:** anyawyyyy!!!!

 **[3:40] problem child #1:** tht means usga-san is hertborken ryt!!!!

 **[3:40] problem child #1:** so!!!!

 **[3:40] problem child #1:** lets g out f drisnk!!!!

 **[3:41] problem child #1:** well treart u!!!

 **[3:41] Me:** i'm not heartbroken!

 **[3:41] problem child #2:** dw suga-san, thers plenscxy of fsish in th sea w thghs lke daichi-sans

 **[3:41] problem child #1:** yea!!!!

 **[3:41] Me:** stop acting like I’ve lost my chance!!

 **[3:42] mom jr:** So you do admit it.

 **[3:42] Me:** s h u t

 **[3:42]** **problem child #1:** WERE STIL GOINFG FR DRONKSA!!!

 **[3:43] Me:** well, i’m not going to turn down free drinks

 **[3:43] Me:** so let’s go

 **[3:43] problem child #1:** !!!!!

 **[3:43] problem child #2:** thas d spriitr sugoasn!!!!

 

**_Tuesday, 2:30 AM_ **

 

 **[2:30] Me:** whyyyyy wont daichi lev meeeeeee

 **[2:30] Me:** wyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **[2:30] Me:** aHm ix noxt prttzy noughhhh

 **[2:31] Me:** why wulfd h ex dicht meee

 **[2:31] Me:** im obvvvvi moooooooooren impdfortnt

 **[2:33] not daichi:** um

 **[2:34] Me:** hwyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **[2:34] Me:** ism petyyyyyy

 **[2:34] Me:** soooou hyyw wlkd h ec hofse smfethnsg ls obnerm e

 **[2:35] not daichi:** whoa u okay there?

 **[2:35] Me:** nooooo

 **[2:35] Me:** wy ownt didach levo meeee

 **[2:36] Me:** ijs ust watg hi mt2 ledv meeeeee

 **[2:36] not daichi:** so u do admit u have a thing for him

 **[2:37] Me:** wah nooo

 **[2:37] Me:** i hjst leov im vvyr muh!!!

 **[2:38] not daichi:** how much?

 **[2:38] Me:** tdfiiiiiiiis mguch!!!!

 **[2:39] Me:** (m sgtrechng v foar n egfngog hst me c ozv i hi t imh w m rms)

 **[2:39] not daichi:** okay then…

 **[2:40] Me:** ooog thyr clin me!!!

 **[2:40] Me:** hyeee!!!

 **[2:40] not daichi:** boy u sure are going to regret this when u wake up

 

**_Tuesday, 8:00 AM_ **

 

 **[8:00] Me:** ughh fucking shoot me in the ass

 **[8:06] not daichi:** kinky

 **[8:07] Me:** shut up

 **[8:07] Me:** youre hurtin g m brain

 **[8:07] Me:** why did I agre to that

 **[8:08] Me:** ughh at least i dont hav clases

 **[8:08] Me:** fuck ngthis

 **[8:09] not daichi:** good morning to u too, babe (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

 **[8:09] Me:** why r yo even here

 **[8:09] Me:** dont uyo have clas or smth

 **[8:10] not daichi:** my bf senses were tingling

 **[8:10] not daichi:** and i just knew my bf needed me!!!

 **[8:10] not daichi:** so here i am!!! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

 **[8:11] Me:** wtf

 **[8:11] not daichi:** jk!!!

 **[8:12] not daichi:** my classes r in the afternoon today!!

 **[8:12] not daichi:** sooo…

 **[8:12] not daichi:** hows the hangover

 **[8:14] Me:** up suht fufk of

 **[8:14] not daichi:** rip

 **[8:15] not daichi:** do u remember anything??

 **[8:15] Me:** no

 **[8:15] Me:** and i dnwt wnnad

 **[8:16] not daichi:** are u suuuuuure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **[8:16] Me:** ye

 **[8:17] not daichi:** r u suuuuuuuureee (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **[8:17] Me:** pls no

 **[8:17] Me:** im gng to rgret it al, rent i

 **[8:18] not daichi:** hmmmmm ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡ )

 **[8:18] Me:** ugh ill jsft wlk int o  a wal or smrth

 **[8:19] Me:** ill jdt regret iy all lter

 **[8:20] not daichi:** suuuure (￢‿￢ )

 

**_Tuesday, 10:35 AM_ **

 

 **[10:35] Me:** oh god

 **[10:35] Me:** oh no

 **[10:36] not daichi:** mhm

 **[10:36] Me:** oh fucking no

 **[10:36] not daichi:** guess its safe to say u scrolled up

 **[10:37] Me:** oh my fucknig god

 **[10:37] Me:** what the actual fuck

 **[10:38] Me:** im going to kill those idiots

 **[10:38] Me:** ughhh

 **[10:38] Me:** for the love of god, please forget about it all

 **[10:39] not daichi:** screenshotted

 **[10:39] Me:** asshole

 **[10:40] Me:** I cant believe I fucking said those

 **[10:40] Me:** argvh im so stupid

 **[10:40] Me:** youll never let me live this down, wont u

 **[10:41] not daichi:** nope!!! ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

 **[10:42] Me:** ughh of course

 **[10:42] Me:** adding this to the lisf of embarrassmenst I apparently did last night

 **[10:42] not daichi:** what else did u do???

 **[10:42] Me:** not telling!!!

 **[10:43] Me:** ugh my friends will enver let me live thsb down

 **[10:43] not daichi:** and neither will i!!! (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

 **[10:43] Me:** ugh thank god I don’t know you in real life

 **[10:44] Me:** if my friends gt a hand on tht conversation they’ll realy nevet let me livr ith down too

 **[10:45] not daichi:** are u suuuure??  (¬‿¬ )

 **[10:45] Me:** what?

 **[10:46] not daichi:** are u sure u don’t know me??? ( ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ)

 **[10:46] Me:** I don’t

 **[10:47] Me:** and im eternally grateful for that

 **[10:47] not daichi:** hmmm…

 **[10:48] notdaichi:** are u suuuureee?? (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

 **[10:49] Me:** shut up

 **[10:49] Me:** im goin bkac to slep

 **[10:50] not daichi:** gn!!!

 **[10:50] not daichi:** hope u wont miss me that much!!!

 **[10:51] Me:** fuck off

* * *

 

 

**[Extra]**

**_[Operation: Get Suga-san that ~~ass~~ thighs]_ **

**_Tuesday, 2:16 AM_ **

**[2:16] problem child #2 sent 10 photos**

**[2:18] problem child #2 sent a video**

**[2:18] problem child #2 sent 23 photos**

**[2:19] problem child #2 sent 4 videos**

**[2:20] problem child #2:** for posterity ;)

**_Tuesday, 10:11 AM_ **

**[10:11] Me:** goddamn it tanaka

 **[10:11] Me:** im going ti kill you

 

**_Tuesday, 4:37 PM_ **

**[4:37] problem child #2:** it wasnt me!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmhmmm i think things are finally going somewhere!!!
> 
> id like to think hungover suga still has some difficulty typing properly from time to time, even though several hours has passed already
> 
> sorry this took long, i lost inspiration and the idea for this just came to me when i was finally falling asleep ugh. anyway!!! i hope you guys liked it, aaaa i think i have a vague idea on what's to come now!! (and god, i forgot about how much of a pain formatting this is; uggghh gotta fix it later)
> 
> so yeah,,, feel free to leave comments or suggestions.....or just hmu on my [tumblr](https://vvdesd.tumblr.com/)/[twitter](https://twitter.com/_svfkls) and feel free to talk to me abt ships or anything idk pls
> 
> have a nice day!!!


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